


Best. Party. Ever.

by Laineygaynee



Category: Monster Prom (Visual Novel)
Genre: Birthday Party, Crucifying Transphobic Douchebags, F/F, Polyamory, There are other characters but they get like one line, Trans Female Character, Trans rights
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2020-03-01 01:02:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18789850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laineygaynee/pseuds/Laineygaynee
Summary: Vera was gonna go for something nice and simple to celebrate Zoe’s birthday. Polly had other plans.





	Best. Party. Ever.

**Author's Note:**

> A birthday gift for my wonderful S/O, Nova! Happy birthday babe! I hope you enjoy ;)

Having grown accustomed to being woken up in the worst ways possible, Polly Geist barely flinched when an entire bottle of Scotch was poured on her as a wake-up call. She looked up from the dumpster she’d been sleeping in to see Vera Oberlyn standing over her, An empty bottle in her hand and a look of disappointment on her face.

“What up bitch?” Polly asked.

“It’s Zoe’s birthday, and we need to go gift shopping.” Vera replied.

“Zoe has a birthday?”

“Apparently.”

“Oh fuck.” Polly sat up from her dumpster like Dracula from his coffin. “Vera. Vera do you know what this means?”

Vera rolled her eyes. “We gotta say tra-”

“WE GOTTA SAY TRANS RIGHTS VERA!” Polly cartwheeled out of the dumpster, landing next to Vera in a Power Rangers-esque split.

“I don’t see how this is different from all the other times we’ve said trans rights.”

“Vera, you small-minded fool. This day is more important than any day prior. If we want to properly celebrate the anomalous manifestation of our favorite eldritch cutie pie, then we are gonna have to say trans rights _harder than we’ve ever said trans rights before!_ ”

Vera leaned on the wall next to the dumpster and began examining her nails. “And how do you propose we do that? The pride festival we hosted last month destroyed three city blocks.”

“It’s simple;” Polly began, grabbing Vera’s wrist for her attention. “You use your near-infinite money supply to purchase all the trans pride flags in Monstropolis, while I use my connections to organize the party of the century. We throw all our resources up at the Party Tree, and get people fucking _liiiiiiiiiiit_ for Zoe’s b-day!”

“That… could probably actually work, yeah.”

“You fucking know it will!” Polly kissed her, quickly and powerfully.

“You taste like vodka.” Vera said nonchalantly.

“And _you_ taste like sexy. I’ll see you at around 10. Good luck with those flags!”  

Vera smiled as Polly phased through the wall behind her, presumably to locate whatever trash hobo she was gonna claim to be the god of DJing. She chuckled to herself.

“And to think,” she said to herself, “all I was gonna bother with was a Barnes and Noble gift card. Oh, Polly, you beautiful mess.”  

Vera pulled out her cell phone and made a call. “Hello, is this the Monstropolis Trevor Foundation? Yeah, I’d like to buy all buy all your trans pride flags… Wait, what do you mean that’s not what this line is for?”

 

Polly was freaking. Party planning? Fine. Party planning on a day’s notice? No big deal. Party planning on a day’s notice when the party is a birthday party, a trans pride festival, and the execution of every transphobe you know? Stressful as _hell_. Thank anti-Christ Damien had been willing to conscript some of his dads’ buff demon soldiers to set up the decorations, and crucify Leonard.

Speak of the devil. “We got the stereo set up. You sure this DJ is legit?” Damien asked.

“As legit as any bum with a turntable can be!” Polly replied.

“Right, totally. You made sure to spike all the drinks with LSD, right? You know Zoe won’t show to a party that isn’t powered by insanity.”

“Damien, do you even know who I am? I spike the drinks of every party I throw, and several that I don’t. You remember that guy’s confirmation party?”

He grinned. “Oh fuck yeah, that was sick. I caught up with him a few weeks later: converted him to Satanism, ate his ass. Good times.”

“ _Nice!_ ” Polly high fived him. “But we’re getting off track! You got snacks?”

“Check.”

“Pyrotechnics?”

“Check.”

“Ice cream truck, T-shirt cannons, and Freddy Mercury’s ghost?”

“Check, check, and double check!”

“What about the cultists?”

“What?”

“The cultists? The cultists that refuse to acknowledge Zoe’s transition and who we always have to throw rocks at so that they leave her alone? Those cultists?”

Damien’s eyes went wide with shock. Then he screamed. “FUCK! I _Knew_ I fucking forgot something! I was having so much fun crucifying Leonard that I forgot to crucify those other guys!”

“It’s okay it’s okay! You know how you can solve this problem?”

“How?”

Polly pinched his cheeks. “By finding those cultists and bringing them here so we can _crossify them!_ ”

“Crossify’s not a word!”

“Just do what I say bitch!”

“OKAY FINE!” Damien stormed off, leaving Polly to check off all the other items on her rather disorganized mental checklist.

 _I got the mechanical bull off of Craigslist, I got Scott and the Wolf pack rehearsing their interpretive break dance adaptation of Zoe’s Spooky High Seas fanfic, and I convinced the Coven to hex anyone who failed to subscribe to her AO3 within the next 24 hours. I knew being friends with benefits with Faith would pay off some day. Now what am I missing… Oh fuck_.

Polly pulled out her phone and called Vera. “Hey Polly,” the Gorgon said, “I got all those pride flags you needed. Had to rob a mint so the Trevor Foundation would give me their shit, but on the plus side 99.9 percent of incumbent Monstropolis politicians are gay now.”

“Yeah, Vera, that’s great and all, but did you ever, uhhhh, tell Zoe where and when they should meet us for the party?”

There were at least five eternities of awkwardness compressed into two seconds of silence. Then Vera spoke up.

“You should do that.” Vera said

“I SHOULD!”

And Polly did.

 

Zoe was doing what she usually did after school; writing fanfic on the library computers. There was something so therapeutic about the authorial process to her, enabling her to create, rather than destroy. She was just putting the finishing touches on the penultimate chapter of “Spooky ICU”, when General Surgeon!Vera finally confesses her feelings for Nurse Anesthetist!Polly, when Actual!Polly tapped her on the shoulder.

“Am I in this one?” She asked.

“Yes, actually,” Zoe replied, “I was just about to write you and Vera 69ing in an MRI machine.”

“Heh, nice.”

“So What’s up?” Zoe asked.

“Do you think you could join me out by the Party Tree for a bit? I was mixing some acid out there and I was hoping some of your bodily fluids would give it that extra pop.”

Zoe shrugged, then got up. “I’ve got nothing better to do, why not?”

The two of them began walking through the school, but as they did, they began to feel a low vibration emanate through the very foundations of Spooky High.

“Wonder what that is?” Zoe asked.

“Probably just band practice.”

“But band doesn’t rehearse during the Spring trimester.”

“Oh, you know those band kids! No respect for the rules.”

Zoe pretended to ignore this blatant deflection, but as they got further along, the thumping got louder, and louder, and louder still, and by the time they’d arrived at the back door of the school Zoe knew for a fact that if she’d had ears, they’d have burst by now.

“POLLY, WHAT THE SHIT IS GOING ON?” She exclaimed over the cacophony.

Polly grinned, then kicked open the door to reveal the most glorious birthday party ever assembled. Thousands of revelers had swarmed from all over Monstropolis, dancing to the hottest tracks ever composed in an ecstatic display of catharsis. The upside down crucifixes from which Leonard and the Cult of Z’gord hung were red with blood, the Spooky High Seas breakdance rendition had hundreds of audience members enthralled, and most everything and everyone was draped in a trans pride flag.

All of this celebration came to an abrupt halt when Polly kicked the door open. Ten thousand heads snapped towards the guest of honor, and as if on command, ten thousand mouths gave out this cry, in a single moment of glorious, unifying fervor:

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZOE! TRANS RIGHTS!”

As the festivities resumed, Polly took a moment to bask in the glory of it all before Zoe tackled them into a hug.

“THIS IS THE BEST THING ANYONE’S EVER DONE FOR ME!” She screamed.

Polly patted her on the head. “I’m glad you like it!”

“I _LOVE_ IT, AND I LOVE YOU!” She gave Polly a kiss on the cheek as Vera elbowed her way through the crowd, trans pride flag in hand.

“I took the liberty of booking a few actual DJs to thin out the crowd of homeless men Polly bribed with narcotics. Happy birthday, Zoe.” She draped the pride flag around Zoe’s shoulders to form a cape. She looked dashing.

Zoe wiped a tear of joy from one of her many, many eyes. “GUYS, WE ARE LIKE, MY OT3 RIGHT NOW!”

“Anything for you, boo!” Polly said.

“Same.” Vera concurred.

“HEY!” Damien shouted from somewhere within the mass of monsters. “WHO WANTS TO WATCH ME RIDE THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PIECE OF SHIT BULL?”

“HOLY SHIT!” Dahlia exclaimed. “SCOTT’S REENACTING THE BATTLE OF SPOOKY BAY ARC WITH ACTUAL PIRATE CANNONS!”

“Is it just this Fruit Punch, or are my CLOTHES made of LIVING TIGERS?” Miranda begged.

Polly looked around. “There sure is a helluva lotta fun to be had out there.”

“Yes, we should get going.” Vera said. “If I recall correctly, the battle of spooky bay arc ends with Captain Brian launching himself out of a Pirate cannon into Captain Liam’s private love chamber.”

“You know it, baby!” Zoe exclaimed. “Let’s enjoy my birthday, together!”

 

And so, after three days of the most intense partying in monster history, Polly yet again found herself waking up in a dumpster. The party was a blur; only later would she realize how many millions of dollars of property had been destroyed, how many people had been hospitalized, and how many serfs had willingly laid down their lives to try and subdue Miranda during her bad trip. Even then, when the memories began dripping back, they would only serve as fleeting glimpses into the awesome power that was Zoe’s birthday.

Whatever else had happened, Polly was certain of one thing; it was all worth it, because she was sharing her dumpster with the two people she loved the most. She patted Zoe on the head. “Good morning, boo.”

“Mmph.” She replied. “Trans rights.”

“Trans rights.” Vera agreed.

Polly nodded. “Trans rights.”

“You know, we never did end up buying you a gift.” Vera admitted.

“Oh please, that party was all the gift I needed.” Zoe said, sliding up to Vera. “That and you.”

Polly watched the two kiss with admiration. “Just let me know when it’s my turn!”

“Oh come here!” Zoe pulled her into the fray, kissing her with a somewhat unexpected confidence. She supposed she’d done her research with those fanfics.

“Do I get a turn with Polly?” Vera asked when they were done.

“You already had your turn after you poured scotch on my face.”

“Do you think I’m _not_ hung over enough to remember that?”

“Hey,” Zoe interjected, “there’ll be plenty of time for making out when we exit this dumpster. Can we do that?”

Vera and Polly nodded in unison. “Definitely.”

Thus, the battle of Zoe’s birthday was won, but there were plenty of other battles left to fight in that war called youth. Rest assured that wherever their lives may take them, Zoe, Vera, and Polly will be young and unafraid, and ready to start.


End file.
